There's nothing more expensive than NOT having a lawyer

"There's nothing more expensive than NOT having a lawyer."

I say this more often than anything else, yet people still don't believe me. Every once in a while, I like to post examples of why this is true. Here's a scenario I hear about once a week or so:

"When we got a divorce, I [or she] was pregant with another man's baby."

Well, okay, as good a reason as any to get a divorce, I suppose, and I've heard every reason there is. No problem. But that isn't why the person is coming to see me. They're coming to see me because:

"We didn't use a lawyer."

Big problem. It's a big problem because they didn't deal with the child's father in the divorce. If the divorce judgment doesn't mention that the husband isn't the biological father then, guess what, biology suddenly becomes irrelevant. Once the judge signs the divorce paper, husband just gained a child that isn't biologically his.

Many men are okay with this, and I admire them for it. They'll exercise visitation (maybe even assume custody), pay support, maybe become more of a father than the biological father would. Of course, we're ignoring the rights of the biological father here, who may want a shot at custody. We're also ignoring the rights of the child, who may want to know who his or her real father is sometime before he or she suddenly needs a blood transfusion. But this discussion is a little off the topic.

What about the ex-husband who now realizes he's on the hook for child support for a child who isn't his? What about the biological father who suddenly finds out he gets no visitation because he's not the "legal" father of his own child? What about the mother who wants child support from the "real" farther? What about the child who needs a kidney and needs to know who the biological father is? Those are the people who end up in my office. Big mess, huh? Maybe even an emergency? Many lives completely screwed up? Can it be fixed? Absolutely! How can it be fixed? The same way any of these messes can be fixed: hire a lawyer and pay the lawyer great big gobs of money.

However, had the couple just hired a lawyer in the first place for the original divorce, the paperwork would have been done correctly, the real father would have been declared the legal father in a paternity suit, and everyone could have gotten on with their lives at a fraction of the legal expense. But the couple didn't use a lawyer for the divorce. Why not? They wanted to save money. Yeah, how'd that work out?

We lawyers all know that we are a necessary evil. But we also know that we don't have to be an incredibly expensive necessary evil. It just usually works out that way because people try to do things without us first. The do-it-yourselfers are the people who end up paying us big fees, and they're the reason we lawyers always drive expensive German and Italian sports cars (mine's German). You don't have to be one of those people. Save the money and hire us from the beginning. I'd be perfectly happy driving a Ford.

Is the settlement good if we get back together then split up again?

Q.
My Husband and I entered into a Separation Agreement last year when he moved out and we were going to get divorced. Since then, we tried to reconcile and moved back in together for a few months. Now my Husband has filed for divorce and he wants to use the original Separation Agreement. I don’t agree with any of the terms, am I stuck with them?

A.
Good news- you are not stuck to the terms of the original separation agreement. Once you reconcile and rekindle the marital relationship, even if it is for a very short period of time, the separation agreement is no good. At this point you may want to consider hiring an attorney to protect your interests in the upcoming divorce.