How can I get a divorce if my spouse won't sign?

In the old movies, you see the spouse shout, "I'll never give you a divorce!" Before 1970, it was true that both spouses had to agree before a divorce could be granted. Or, if they didn't agree, one spouse had to prove grounds for divorce, like abandonment, cruelty, adultery, etc.

None of these grounds matter anymore (though they can sometimes affect alimony and custody). Now every state has some form of "no fault" divorce law. Under Florida's no-fault law, all one spouse has to say in the divorce petition and in court is that there the marriage is "irretrievably broken," which means, essentially, "I don't want to be married to this person anymore." Some states call it "irreconciable differences" (which makes no sense to me since I think spouses can have irreconcilable differences every day yet still remain happily married), but it all means the same thing. It all comes down to not wanting to be married, regardless of fault or, for that matter, regardless of if there even is fault. So the answer to the question, "how can I get a divorce if my spouse won't sign?" is that you just plain can. The spouse's lack of signature can't stop the divorce. The spouse's signature is irrelevant.

(An interesting sidenote is that many organizations exist today to end no-fault divorce, claiming it's a liberal invention by women's rights activists to make it easier for women to get out of marriages. Actually, the first no-fault statute was signed into law by Ronald Reagan.)

Spousal signatures may make a divorce easier, however. There are two types of divorce in Florida: contested and uncontested. In the uncontested divorce, the parties have agreed in writing to all issues, like child support, custody, alimony, division of debts and property, etc. In the contested divorce, the parties can't agree on at least one of the issues.

However, one issue they don't have to agree on in either kind of divorce is whether there will be a divorce. Even if only one person wants the divorce and the other refuses to sign or agree, the divorce will still happen. A divorce is not contested or uncontested based on whether the divorce will happen, it's contested or uncontested based on whether all the other issues are settled.

If both spouses settle and sign, the divorce is easier; it's uncontested. If one spouse won't sign on one or more of the issues, there has to be a trial to resolve the unresolved issue(s). The issue is never whether the divorce is going to happen. It only takes one person to get a divorce. The issues are custody, support, etc.

So here's an interesting thing: a divorce can be uncontested even if one spouse is begging and pleading for the marriage to continue! Remember, the issues are child support, alimony, debt, custody, property, not divorce itself!

When the judge has a divorce trial, the judge (or the lawyers) will ask questions about who should have the kids, how much is in the 401(k), how much is on the credit cards, those types of things. The question, "who broke up this marriage?" probably won't even come up. It's irrelevant.

So how do you get a divorce if your spouse won't sign? You just do. Have the papers served on spouse and try to resolve the issues that matter through a phone call, a mediation, or some other way. If you can't settle custody, support, propoerty division, etc., you'll have to have a trial, but you will get your divorce, spouse's signature or not.