Waiving child support
Someone in Texas told me today that a child support recipient there can waive child support payments. That's rather surprising. Florida is pretty conservative when it comes to child support, and unless you can convince a judge of it (in law school we used to say, "There is as much law as there are judges."), child support payments can't be waived.
There is a reason for that: child support belongs to the child, not to the parent, so the parent has no right to give up the money. Judges are a little more liberal about back child support, but it's tough to get current child support payments eliminated. It's even tough to get current child support payments reduced much below Florida's guidelines schedule.
I know what you're thinking: "But the custodial parent can spend the money on anything he or she wants! The child support money doesn't even have to get spent on the child! Why can't he or she waive the money!" I hear ya. I'm not even saying I disagree. But that's the way it works.
posted by Brent @ 6:25 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
my husband is in this situation right now. He and his ex have agreed that he will waive visitation if she waives child support. (This after 5 years in court and his children hate him, but he got visitation after 5 years, but it's too late. Too much damage has been done.) However, at one time, they did waive child support for 9 months. So I don't understand. Also in Florida
Oh, this has "bad" written all over it. If I've written anything on this blog that makes you think this arrangement is okay, then I take back everything I've ever written here.
Let me get this straight. Your husband wants to buy his way out of his childrens' lives? In exchange for having less money, these kids will have no contact with their real father?
Is your husband a child molester? An abuser? A violent criminal? I doubt it, but even if he is, it's time to turn things around. I know you say "[t]oo much damage has already been done," but that's nearly impossible. I can't believe that your husband has done something so bad to his children that the relationship is forever destroyed. I can't begin to believe that the childrens' mother has said such awful things about their father that he can no longer have contact with them. Kids don't work like that. Kids are forgiving. Kids will reconcile.
I hear this, "dump the kids, dump the money," plan an awful lot. It's a poor way to get out of paying support. It's usually an unthinkable thing to do to children.
Tell your husband to do the right thing: support his children, visit his children. If the relationship is bad, he needs to put right what once went wrong. He needs to do the right thing and pay his support. he needs to be the right man and be involved in his childrens' lives, however much they may hate him now. The hate will change if he does the right thing. The children will see him as person he is, and now is the point at which he needs to ask himself who he really is. It's very hard to get a child to stop loving a parent. But even when children do stop loving, it doesn't take much effort to get them to love you again. You just have to do the right thing and keep at it.
Now is the time for your husband to step up and do the right thing. He needs to be a man, be a father.
Along these same lines...2 years ago I had serious problems with alcohol and voluntarily signed sole custody over to my two children's father, at which time he promised he owuld sign it back over to joint custody when I got better. I've been sober for 1 year and 8 months, and actually have been living with the father and the kids for the past year in an attempt to reconcile the family, but it's not going to work. Now, the father says he will only sign it back over to joint custody if I waive all child support forever. We've always had the parenting time 50-50. He says he shouldn't have to pay since he took care of them for 9 months when I was in jail for DUII's. I just want legal rights to my kids again...I will get back on my feet financially, as I'm graduate-school educated, and he said he will pay for/contribute to all of the kids' extracurricular activities and costs, including clothes, and trips that I take them on. What do you think? I feel like I have no other rights due to him having sole custody, and all of my alcohol problems from the past.
Um, did you read my post? Here it is again: child support can't, and shouldn't be, waived.
Here's a compromise (and the probable legal outcome of your case): he gets monetary credit for child support for all the time he had the kids. Otherwise, he owes you child support for the time you have the kids.
Brent, my girlfriend of 3 years has a 5 year old her and her ex husband adopted at birth. He walked out 3 years ago. He has been paying child support but has had no contact with her in 3 years. He agreed not to be a part of her life then. Now he is remarried and wants to start having visitation with the child. I have been a serigate father for the past 3 years, and the mother wants me to adopt her to keep the father from seeing her. He is using the threat of visitation to get the child support dropped. I understand it can't be waived, but is there a way I can be gardian or something without adopting her right now. I may want to adopt her later, but I'm not ready now.
Any advise? thank you.
You've asked an extremely complex and important question, far too complex and important for this blog, which is only intended to give people general guidance for family law issues, not specific legal advice. But I'll at least put you in the right direction.
"Guardianship," which in Florida is usually called a "751 action" by lawyers who know what they're doing, is not your answer and, for reasons I won't go into, you don't qualify.
Were you married to your girlfriend, adopting her daughter could be a good idea, and this may be a good time for it to happen. (The adoption, that is. I don't know about the marriage.)
When biological fathers start threatening visitation in exchange for support, it's not uncommon for the mother's lawyer to suggest that the biologocical father give up his father's rights. This is usually a win-win all around. Mother gets rid of a nonpaying father, child gets rid of an absentee father. No child support is due, no visitation can be demanded.
There's a catch, though. Judges believe that any father, even a bad one, is better then no father, so judges won't let a biological father give up his rights unless a new father is ready to step in.
That's where the mother's new husband comes in. If the mother is married (and if some other requirements are met, such as the approval of a child psychologist), most judges are okay with tossing out the biological father in favor of the new husband. Deadbeat dad (I hate that term) goes away, new husband adopts, everybody's happy.
In your case, though, you aren't yet the husband, so it won't work.
So right now you may be thinking: well, we were going to wait until June, but, hey, there's never a bad time for an outdoor wedding in Florida...
Slow down. Rememeber that psychologist I mentioned? How happy is he or she going to be that you just jumped into this marriage and now want to take responsibility for a girl who just had one dad removed from her life? How happy will the judge be? And, in your case, you don't sound all that gung-ho about the adoption anyway.
Then again, this may be your only time for the adoption to happen. It may be the only time the biological dad will sign off on a termination. Some big events are about to start happening in a young girl's life, and in yours. You need some good legal advice, and that's what we lawyers happen to do best.
yeah ive heard talk about people wanting to waive support before and its not going to happen. and i dont think it should so long as the children need that money. i remember when me and my ex stood before the judge we had our own payment arrangement worked out. the judge basically stamped everything until it got to the money. then he pulled out his calculator and it was based on the income guidelines. nothing more nothing less. whether you want it to or not. which im fine with.
i have a question though, ive been paying for insurance and daycare that the kids have not been on in 3-4 years. can i get that reduced? im throwing 200 bucks a month away for nothing. and also, how often can my ex take me back for child support raise? i was divorced in 03 and have never been late, save for the 2 hurricanes that came through in 04. and i am active in my childrens lives. but im about to lose my house and i cannot afford it unless i have two roomates to help. i could use a break. i also pay an extra 40 dollars a month to the girls since 03. but i cant survive. what tips can you give me to be able to legitimately lower my support.? i am a good dad but my ex works one day a week and i can barely keep a roof over my head. i work 54 hours a week. this is ridiculous.
john
John,
You can go back to court to have child support modified up or down anytime there is a "substantial change in circumstances." The courts have said that a substantial change happens:
1) about every three years, or
2) any time either party's income goes up or down more than 15%, or
3) any time "something big" happens.
"Something big" is usually a custody change or big visitation change or something like that. Dropping the daycare definitely counts as "big." In fact, dropping the daycare probably lowers your support more than a major paycut would. Daycare has a big affect on support.
You ought to check an online support calculator and see what your support should really be. I'll bet it will be worth it to take her back to court.
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