Rotating custody agreements

One of the things I've written about on our website is the shock that comes when a parent learns that, in divorce, the noncustodial parent usually loses his or her kids. That is, seeing you kids every day, attending all sports practices, going to church with the kids, etc., all may end because time with the kids is reduced to every other weekend or so. And if the noncustodial parent shows up at the practices or goes to church where the kids are on the non-timeshare weekend, this is often called "overparenting," and may subject the noncustodial parent to sanctions.

One attempt made to alleviate this problem is called "rotating custody." Rotating custody is where the children spend, say, one week with one parent then the next week with the other. The days aren't constant. This allows for a 50/50 split of the children's time.

I think it's a great idea, and many child psychologists are now agreeing.

But judges aren't agreeing. In fact, I'm told that, at judges' conferences, judges are instructed that rotating custody should only be allowed in rare cases. The reason, they're told, is that children need stability, and switching time back and forth between parents breaks that stability.

Ridiculous. Kids need their parents a lot more than they need this so-called stability. They need to spend time with both parents, not just one parent most of the time, and the other a little bit of the time.

You should consider rotating custody when you are trying to settle your custody issues, but realize you'll probably have an uphill battle with the judge.