Is Florida a 50/50 custody state?

On May 21, 2010, in Custody, by Brent Rose

A couple of years ago Florida changed its statute on custody. Everybody thought the reason for the change was to make Florida a 50-50 custody state. That wasn’t the reason for the change at all. Actually, the reason for the change was pretty simple. In Florida, too many people have never understand the law on […]

A couple of years ago Florida changed its statute on custody. Everybody thought the reason for the change was to make Florida a 50-50 custody state. That wasn’t the reason for the change at all. Actually, the reason for the change was pretty simple.

In Florida, too many people have never understand the law on how kids are to be raised by unmarried parents. Parents with primary custody often like authoritarians. They think that, just because they have “primary custody,” they are in complete control of the kids. They say things like, “I have primary custody, therefore you have no say in where the kids go to school.” They try to tell the noncustodial parent that they can’t show up for doctor visits, or that they can control what the kids did on the noncustodial parent’s time.

This wasn’t the law at all, either before the statute changed or after. This was never the law. So the statute was changed to make it clearer that this wasn’t the law. The statute was changed to use words like “timeshare” instead of “custody.” This change was so that people would understand that one parent has no more control over the kids than the other divorced parent.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the courthouse. So many people expected the statute to change into a 50-50 statute that it actually changed into a 50-50 statute, at least in some places.

In Florida, it seems things are changing. Despite the fact that not one word of that statute changed to turn Florida into a 50-50 state, strangely, Florida is slowly becoming a 50-50 state. In many parts of Florida, judges are deciding that 50-50 is the better custody choice for parents. Surprisingly, what everyone thought was going to happen with the new statute, but didn’t, actually did. Weird.

23 Responses to “Is Florida a 50/50 custody state?”

  1. P. Eye says:

    My daughter is going through a divorce in Florida. Her husband wants 50-50. He is a father who does nothing with his children and how can a father like that get the so called “50-50″ that he is requesting. Florida divorce law is not in favor of the children at all and they are the one’s that need the support. I am very upset with the overall divorce statutes of Florida.

  2. Brent Rose says:

    It seems that modern psychological theory is trending toward the idea that 50/50 custody is more in the best interest of the children, so I disagree with you that Florida law is not in the best interest of the children. However, there are many cases in which 50/50 rotating custody is not awarded in Florida. That type of custody is certainly not an “automatic.” far from it. If, as you say, your son-in-law is not involved substantially in his children’s lives 50/50 rotating custody is probably a longshot. On the other hand, it’s surprising sometimes how people sometimes change in terms of becoming closer to their children after divorce.

    Sometimes giving someone 50/50 custody is an opportunity for that person to become closer to their children. Sometimes it’s just giving them enough rope to hang themselves.

  3. Dewain says:

    Well said Brent Rose. It is true, sometimes dad’s learn the hard way.
    Our culture has been changing for decades. Mom’s are not “stay at home”. anymore. My mother was the last of them. She did not even drive. We totally depended on dads income. We did not relate with dad as much. He was always working. As teenagers, he wanted to spend time with us. But we just wanted money from him.
    in retrospect, i feel sorry for my father. But I love him for his sacrifice. I am sure he would of stayed home if he could!
    But that was the 60′s!
    As a single dad I have seen the changes first hand. Both parents are expected to work.. I see dad’s now liberated to hug and kiss their children. That did not happen in the 60′s. Watch old TV family shows. Did not happen. Men are still repressed from loving there children openly. It is BS.
    People should be allowed to parent as much as they think they can.
    Men should be given a learning curve.

  4. Sherry says:

    I always thought that 50/50 was going to work to encourage my son’s dad to stay around and e a father. Unfortunately, He has him about 80/20 and still is at the advantage of not paying any child support. He will not even split extra curricular expenses and there is not a court in the world who will change 50/50 custody unless there is MAJOR abuse. As far as I am concerned, it is just an excuse for SOME dads to escape child support and move on with their new lady and not be obligated to spend any of their money on their “kid”. He has also had the RIGHT to block me fom entering my child into a private school. JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN’T AGREE. He never even so much at looked at a report card. If parents could agree on things 50/50 don’t you think they would probably still be married????

  5. Brent Rose says:

    That’s one opinion, I suppose.

    On the other hand, he isn’t exactly at the “advantage” of not paying child support, since the “advantage” of not paying could cost him his license, his passport, and some jail time.

    And courts don’t need “major abuse” to change timeshare, they need a “substantial change of circumstances.” While it’s true that some dads seek 50/50 timeshare to reduce support, I’m convinced that most dads seek 50/50 out of the legitimate concern that they want to spend more time with their children. If you agreement or order says that he should be paying 50% of extra-curriculars (like almost all agreements and orders), file a motion for contempt.

    And is he “blocking” private school or he is, like many of us, including myself, an advocate of public education? You say it’s a “block,” but doesn’t he have the right to contribute equally to the decision as to where his child goes to school?

    And why would you make the stupid assertion that people would be married if they could agree on 50/50 timesharing? People get divorced for all sorts of reasons. Can’t they be intelligent enough to put their children first and agree on what’s best for the children? And sometimes isn’t seeing each parent equally what’s best for the children?

    You’re not getting child support and you’re angry because he has equal rights to your child. File your motion for contempt and put your child, not your anger over money, first. One may as well ask you why you had a child with a deadbeat in the first place.

  6. Doug says:

    I find this topic rather interesting as Florida offered nothing more than shared parental custody with primary residence when I was divorced. Now I am watching my sister in law go through her divorce from a man that spent about 5/95 with his children while they were married. Now that he has left and realizes how much child support he will have to pay he has out the calendar and makes sure he has them at his parents’ house (while he is still out and about) for his 50% of the time.

    As a parent that fought for 3 years to gain custody of my son I still see many problems with this setup. Even if the parents are trying to do this 50/50 split for legitimate reasons, is it really in the best interest of the children to live with one parent one week and then move to the other house the next week? Further, I would assert these people have divorced for a reason, and with so much frequent contact hostilities will likely continue. Finally, I would add that you now have two families that are forced to stay in the same town whether they like it or not to honor the other person’s rights. This sounds like a situation that is set up for failure right from the start.

  7. Brent Rose says:

    Doug,

    Study after study seems to be showing that most kids do better with significant time with both parents. The old “dad gets every other weekend” idea just isn’t panning out. It’s interesting to know that the “tender years doctrine”– the idea that kids, especially younger kids, do better with the mother, is historically recent. Throughout most of history, men have always been awarded the children. Essentially, I guess this has occurred because the men usually had the money to raise the kids. Today, I think it takes an individualized approach. What fits for one family likely won’t fit for another.

  8. Duane says:

    I’m currently going through a divorce here in Florida and am scarred that I might lose time with my children. I want 50/50 but she is now fighting against it. I spend about 80% of the bills when she can make close to what I make. I aslo pay for all of the extra activities and when I ask for help she refuses and I normally tell her a month in advance. We still live together but in seperate rooms and it is veru sad for the children but I can afford the mortgage and to move out and she wont leave because I pay almost all of the bills. What is sad is that I’m asking the courts for 50/50 and she already has it but wants more because she wants child support and I believe is using the excuse to that it would be more stable for the boys to be in one household more but I know its because she wants child support. I’m a police officer and work with children all the time and being in a single parent household is hard and the children seem to get into trouble a lot more. I’m very active in their lives and am not trying to escape paying what I have to but for me and the children I see day in and day out needs a two parents to raise them correctly. I just fill that the male has to start at the bottom and work his way up when the women already start up top, for me it doesnt seem fare

  9. Brent Rose says:

    Duane,

    Take heart. There certainly was a time in Florida when there was a strong presumption in favor of the mother getting “custody,” and it’s still that way in many states. But this isn’t true any more. Generally, “rotating timeshare” (50/50 custody) is the norm in Florida so, all else being equal, you should expect to have the kids half of the overnights. You didn’t put any details on the monetary issues, so I can’t help you with that, but take heart in that you won’t be living together for long, and she’s going to have to make her own way. Judges hate the idea that someone will try to get more timeshare just to get more child support.

  10. Russ says:

    When the courts decide 50/50 custody, and parents do not agree, how are nights and weekends divided? Also, in Florida, what choice does the judge have other than sole custody for father, sole custody for mother, and 50/50? thanks

  11. Brent Rose says:

    Russ,

    Judges are allowed to decide 50/50, sole custody (but very rarely), or anything in between. They can say week on/week off, every other weekend, the third Tuesday of the full moon, or anything that represents the “best interest of the child.”

    But there should be a circumstance where parents don’t agree when the judge orders rotating custody (“50/50″) because the judge should designate which nights the children will be with what parent. If the judge didn’t say specific nights, shame on the judge. But the parents will have to work it out as adults. If the adults are babies and can’t work it out, they should go to mediation or, as a last resort, file a Motion for Clarification of the judge’s order, asking the judge to designate specific overnights.

  12. Amanda says:

    My ex and I have been seperated for slightly over 2 years now and have been sharing the kids 50/50 switching every Friday after school. Because we each have the kids 50% of the time and pay our own bills (including child costs and extracirricular costs) neither of us pay any child support. The kids are doing great in school and love having both parents equally involved and even talk to the parent they aren’t with every night. This is perfect for us and the kids, but will a judge agree with this? I think changing it now will be what hurts the kids? I’m about to file for a divorce and hope that we can keep it simple just as it but worry that they will focus on child support and income and not what’s best for our kids. Is there a way to avoid court since we are in agreement 100% and it works?

  13. Brent Rose says:

    Hi Amanda,

    50/50 timeshare is the preferred condition in timeshare, and a judge will grant your request if both parents agree. You’ll still have to file all the divorce papers, including a parenting plan, and one of you will have to appear at a final hearing for a few minutes before the judge, but that’s all you should have to do. One caveat: you can’t just agree to child support. The two of you will have to follow Florida’s child support guidelines system in coming up with a number for support. Even though you have 50/50 timeshare, your incomes may differ enough so that one of you owes support to another. Call me or write me (brose@attorneysusa.com), and I can help you with your paperwork.

  14. Teresa says:

    Ok I jave a few questions I agreed to 50/50 well kind of bullied into agreeing which I have been doing the joint custody for 3 years .My ex works 2 jobs so he is never home with my child his wife takes care of him .And she and I don’t always get along and when that happens on his week since he is never there i can’t talk to my child .Also now this year he has decided that i will not see my kids for Thanksgiving nor Christmas because its his week which isnt fair for my kids nor me .What can i do to stop this ?

  15. Brent Rose says:

    Teresa,

    What is it you want to stop? Him strictly adhering to your agreement? Does your agreement say that you can talk to your child when your child is with him? It should. If it doesn’t, I’ll bet that’s because you didn’t use a lawyer, and shame on you for that. Does your agreement say that you get part of Christmas day? It should. If it doesn’t, I’ll bet that’s because you didn’t use a lawyer, and shame on you for that.

    If he’s violating the written terms of the agreement, get a lawyer and file a motion for contempt. If he isn’t violating the agreement, then you have to ask what happened to make it written so poorly that he can keep your child from you on Christmas or even talking to you for a week at a time.

  16. Ms garcia says:

    What is 50/50 ? This is what my none year old daughter’s father is after but he is yet to follow the order that’s in place now. He recently lost his full time job and is only working part time. He’s now married with two new babies and is looking for a way to save money. He’s never been to a Dr’s appt. or anything to do with our daughter but pick her up every other weekend. He works over night and will not be able to get her ready and take her to school . How is this the best interest of my daughter … Her step mother would be responsible for things I’m free and able to do… I’m disable and can take care of her needs full time. My daughter has speech and OT therapy 3 times a week, tutoring once a week, is this going to stop ? How the court just remove a child from a stable home and everything she is a custom to?

  17. Ms garcia says:

    Sorry ….my daughter is nine!

  18. Brent Rose says:

    Ms. Garcia,

    I assume that there hasn’t been a timeshare (custody) determination yet.

    It’s not a race. A judge doesn’t say, “this parent doesn’t work, so therefore the child should live with this parent.” The goal is usually to split the time equally, if possible. Even if the child lives with her father a substantial part of the time, can you pick her up and take her to her therapy? Judges try to figure out what’s best, not who wins.

    In your case, I don’t know what’s best. Judges usually spend hours or days trying to figure that out. Get a lawyer who can present the best case for you, and hopefully things will also work out best for your daughter.

  19. beth says:

    I have 50 50 with my ex. I keep the kids 80% of the time. Its always an excuse from I’m going out to I don’t want to get kicked out of my house. He stays with his brother. We are supposed to split everything but that don’t happen. He even files them on taxes every year which was the only thing not stated in the divorce. It hurts my kids all the time when their dad makes an excuse why he isn’t coming. Its even to the point he drops them off at five in the morning so I can get them off to school. Even if I wanted to work I wouldn’t be able cause I would not be able to pay fulltime daycare.

  20. beth says:

    Sorry he drops them off at five to go to work

  21. Brent Rose says:

    Hi Beth,

    So file a supplemental petition to 1) change your timeshare agreement to demonstrate the reality that you have the kids 80% of the time, and 2) increase his child support to reflect the 80% of the time that you have the kids. When your timeshare changes to 80%, under federal law, you automatically get the tax deductions and credits.

  22. Krys says:

    The only best interest for the children in this country is for parents to do what they can to stay together. When you have a spouse who screws up and refuses to go to counseling to learn to be the tfather and e spouse he should be, how can he possibly have 50/50. I have been a stay at home mom for the last two years and my husband left in January. He has not paid me a cent in support and refuses to get help for an addiction that has caused us to separate. He is being Mr. Nice Guy now with working harder to have a 50/50 agreement then he ever did to get help and do what is really best for his family. It upsets me to think that since he is selfish, he can just leave and take my son away from me 50/50 when I fear what my son will be exposed to if he’s with him that long.I met with a “lawyer” the other day that says I need to get over it and get a job. She also said that the fact that two weekends in a row that my husband lied to not pick up our son on time and went drinking with friends before coming to get our son was just a tit for tat. Are you serious???

  23. Brent Rose says:

    Krys,

    Well, this isn’t really the complaint line, and it sounds like you’ve posted more of a complaint than a question. I do agree that it’s usually best for the kids that the parents stay together, but not always. It isn’t best for the kids to watch their parents remain in an arguing, dysfunctional relationship in most cases. Most divorces in Florida end in 50/50 “custody” (the proper term is “timeshare”), so the lawyer probably gave you good advice, though this business about him lying to about the weekends is concerning.. She’s right that you can’t be a stay-at-home wife when you aren’t a wife any more. It’s a good time to move on past this loser husband, but I think you might have to get used to the idea of 50/50. Try to talk to some other lawyers in your area.

Leave a Reply



Contact us:

In Tampa:

813-712-9121

Email: brose@attorneysusa.com

Mailing:
Post Office Box 891325
Tampa, Florida 33689

156 West Robertson Street
Brandon, FL 33511

6107 Memorial Hwy
Tampa, Florida 33615

In St. Petersburg (main office):

727-323-9633

Email: sorsini@attorneysusa.com

5315 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, FL 33707